lose & live

"only the sickly fear sickness and only the mortals fear death."

those are words i read this morning from my deeply convicting devotional titled, "the listening day".

words penned three years before any thought of a global pandemic.

when sickness and death are truly feared in greater measures than ever before.

in the hum of my meditations my lips speak a simple truth-

"living in darkness entails that every step you take towards the death of the body is a step taken towards the death of your soul.

living in light promises that every step you take towards the death of your body is a step taken towards the glories of eternal life."

the Spirit rests on those words.

as my eyes are closed to the world around me, His eyes and the eyes of my soul meet.

do you believe it? He whispers.

of course.

this is the foundation of my salvation.

the unshaken promise of my hope in the midst of a dying world.

do you live it? He does not relent.

do i live it?

truly. do i?

i sit in the pew of my church and look around.

where are the lost ones?

where are the awkward and the unloved and the more-than-a-little-messy ones?

where are the friendless? the houseless? the ones with no family?

are our doors not open?

are your eyes not open?

oh goodness.

have i closed my eyes to the mission of His love?

the Jesus that looked and saw.

He saw.

He saw the sick, the crippled, the dirty, the lame, the unclean.

He saw and almost exploded with compassion.

are my eyes closed?

closed to the heart of His kingdom because they are embracing the death of this world?

a death that may come with luxury and comfort and acceptance and wealth.

a death that may come with popularity and maybe an admirable influence.

but a death of everything my Jesus lived for.

i cannot.

i cannot live this way.

i cannot spend my days- so few & fickle- wasting away in pursuit of facades.

His glory is far too beautiful.

His kindness far too captivating.

His calling far too convicting.

His love far too desirable.

place those words in front of me.

burn them on the flesh of my heart.

to live in a losing.

a losing of anything that would hinder my gaining of You.

You hear my prayer.

You hear it with the rolling tears that tumble off my cheeks.

"burn me ablaze. set me on fire in holy, radiant flames. for You.

for You

for You

for You."

oh but to burn is to lose.

to burn is to watch all the dead layers of your foolish flesh be scorched in the fire.

my dreams- are they holy?

my plans- are they for the advancement of Your kingdom?

my heart- is it surrendered into your love?

my pursuits- are they worthy?

the only thing worth getting lost in is the pursuit of You.

and as i open my eyes to embrace this world i am so alienated to,

a new truth finds my lips-

we need fewer celebrities and more saints.

we need fewer idols and more worshippers.

we need fewer performers and more givers.

we need less proving and more embracing.

we need more people that are willing to leave the world behind to embrace the radical differences of the Kingdom.

we need more people willing to lose themselves to find Him.

are you?

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